There’s One (Or Two) In Every Bunch

I have come to believe that the saying, “the only bad publicity is NO publicity” is not entirely true. Sometimes bad publicity is just plain ol’ bad publicity. Kind of like when children who feel that not enough attention is being paid to them act up in an effort to have SOME attention thrown their way, even if it is negative. Yeah, it’s attention all right, but is it really the kind they desired? Is it really better than nothing? In the end, I don’t think so. I would much rather fly below the radar than be seen for the wrong reasons.

For the second time in my life, my last name is back in the headlines, getting bad publicity because of a bad egg. Diana “the new Long Island Lolita” Bianchi just broke up Christy Brinkley’s fourth marriage.

Her parents must be so proud.

Clearly there are other factors playing into the end of yet another celebrity marriage. Another celebrity marriage #4. Like the wandering husband who can’t keep the mouse in the house. And Christy Brinkley’s suspect taste in men. But in the end, Diana Bianchi has sullied the family name.

Consequently, the questions have already begun. “Are you related to that girl who slept with that model’s husband? Like a cousin or something?” I smile politely and say, “no, no…” What I want to say is, “ yes, that silly Diana. The family reunion will be abuzz THIS year, I can tell you that! We weren’t surprised, really. Always been a bit of a trollop, that one. But you know kids these days…”

Of course her transgressions do not compare to the most infamous of Bianchis – Kenneth. I have personally been asked if I was the Hillside Strangler on more than one occasion when presenting ID at the supermarket. When I answer, “why yes, yes I am. Thank you for noticing,” it’s only on the inside.

Instead, I smile politely and chuckle and say, “no, no. You’re the first one to ask me that. I hadn’t made the connection before!”

I mean, COME ON. Am I the Hillside Strangler? What if? What if I AM the Hillside Strangler and the bad voices in my head told me to come into YOUR store to buy diapers and super effective deodorant? Do you really think I would admit it? And do you really think I would look this young after being born in the 1950s and spending decades in prison keeping a firm grip on my soap?

I thought it would be good to show everyone some of the people who have done the Bianchi name proud. Take Luigi Bianchi for example. He was born in the mid 1800’s in Pisa, Italy and made important contributions to differential geometry. He discovered all the geometries of Riemann that allow a continuous group of transformations. His work on non-euclidean geometries was used by Einstein in his general theory of relativity. I have no idea what that means but Einstein did and that impressed me.

I do have people ask me if I am related to the Bianchi bike family, which I can’t complain about. It’s kind of a cool connection, yet a tad depressing that I am not, in fact, related to the Bianchi bike family at all. If I were related to them though, my great-something would have been Edoardo Bianchi. He opened his first shop in 1885 on Via Nirone in Milan more than a century ago, and his creative mind and entrepreneurial skills filled the little shop with inventions, innovations, new products and of course, bicycles.

Father and son team Joseph and Glenn Bianchi make some great wine in Paso Robles, California. It seems like I could be related to them since they began their involvement in the wine industry in 1974, when they invested in a winery and vineyard on the banks of the San Joaquin River in the Central Valley of California, very near where I grew up. I remember my Italian grandfather Lorenzo Bianchi showing off a wine bottle that had the name Bianchi on the label, but I don’t ever remember hearing anything more about them.

John Bianchi is a very successful children’s book illustrator and author who lives near Tucson, Arizona.

Tom Bianchi is a professional photographer. His subjects are mostly naked men in varying degrees of arousal and subsequent interaction with each other. Might not be your cup o’ tea, but hey. Sales of his best-selling artwork helps raise money for AIDS research and therapy. So I’ll claim him.

Actress Daniela Bianchi was a former Miss Rome and runner up for Miss World 1960. She made approximately fifteen film appearances, the best known was playing Soviet clerk Tatiana Romanova in the James Bond film From Russia with Love in 1963.

Priscilla Bianchi specializes in original, one-of-a-kind art quilts constructed from hand-woven Guatemalan textiles. Why? Because she can.

Simone Bianchi was born in Lucca, Italy, where my Bianchis came from, where he still lives and works. At the age of fifteen, he published humorous comic strips in the daily newspaper “Il Tirreno”, and went on to work as a cartoonist and vignettist for several regional and national publications. He is now under exclusive contract to Marvel Comics.

Sarah Bianchi currently serves as National Policy Director for the Kerry-Edwards Presidential Campaign. She was Deputy Issues Director on the Gore 2000 Presidential campaign, where she traveled with the Vice President full time during the general election. Before that, she worked on President Clinton’s White House Staff for nearly five years, serving as an Associate Director for Health Policy at the Domestic Policy Council, Senior Health Care Policy Advisor to the Vice President, and a Senior Policy Advisor at the National Economic Council. Not too shabby.

Mike Bianchi is a sports writer for Orlando Sentinel. I have been asked once or twice if I am he. It’s valid question, especially in the South, I’ll give you that.

So as you can see, there are, and have been, many Bianchis who have done more with their lives than murder and wreck marriages. We are artists, writers, photographers, politicians, winemakers, inventors, mathematicians, quilters, thespians, and more. We’re a contributing bunch. I guess we just tend to be a quiet bunch.

We just need better publicity.